//super awesome !

You .

Mohd. Arif Shah Bin Mohd. Azmi. He's mine. FOREVER. As everyone knows, we've broke up for about a month or less and that desicion was made by me. Seriously, I've ruined my own life. Never thought it would hurt that much after letting hm go.

My stupid decision was made because of ...

*flashback*

We've been dating for about 2 months or more and at first we were so happy. No heartbrokens. I felt like the world is mine. He'll be mine forever and no one could change Allah's fate.

But then, I don't know why but I think our relationship won't last any longer. I just had the feeling. The sense.

We lost contact for about A MONTH and I was like a mother who lost her child. You know ? Like breaking into pieces.

My heart was like stabbed. I saw he made a relationship on Facebook on our THIRD MONTHSARRY. I'm broken. (Actually that was a FAKE relationship)

Then, I've decided to break up with him but I just can't ! I know that I'll miss him sooner or later. I love him so fucking much. So I keep on going. Act like nothing happened. Laugh like I have no problem in life... But my heart was like shouting ... Screaming ... Wanted to stop this drama. I just dont want anyone to think badly about him.

One day, I just cant hold one. I called him and I said ;
"You... I nak dengar sendiri daripada mulut you yang kita dah tak ada apa apa."
Truthfully, I just can't believe that I had the strength to say that to him.
And he said "Lagi 10 minit call I balik"
As he told me to, I called him back after 10 minutes. When he answered, he was like joking around. He didnt even give me a chance to talk. I didnt laugh for his jokes. My eyes were red. I hate him ! I hate him ! I hate him a lot ! The fuck ! Who the hell am I kidding with ?! I love him ! I miss him so fucking much ! I just cant let him go ... He's voice ... Mann ! I miss him so badly. Yknow , he knew about me wanted to breakup with him. And from what I understand, he actually don't want to answer my question. He wants to change the topic. Okay. I dont want to remember the rest of our conversations. The only thing that you have to know is , that night was the LAST night I could hear his voice.

Days by days passed and I just can't lie. My heart hurts. This time, it hurts even more. I dont know why but the only thing I know was , I miss him so badly.

After a few days, I went to my twin's house (Shi). I feel different on that day. I feel good. Then I decided to ask for Shah's permission to be his girlfriend again. GILA KAN ?! Okay, my twin, my bestfriends, and my friend said, "pergilah getback" . Its easy for you guys to say -.- So , I texted Shah and said ;
Me : You . I ada benda nk cakap ni. Hm . Ni first time I buat benda ni . And , I'm quite nervous . Hm . Youu , I nak getback . Its okay kalau you taknak . I faham . I tak kisah pun . Jangan accept sebab kesian kan I . I nak tahu jawapan you . I tak kisah apa jawapan you . At least I dah cuba . So ?

Him : Hm . I akan bagi tahu jawapannya kalau you dapat jawab satu pertanyaan dari I :')

Me : Hm . Apa dia ?

Him : kenapa you buat keputusan macam tu ? And kenapa you nak getback dengan I ? Why ?

Me : Hm. I rasa kosong , I rindu you sangat2 . Dahlah kita tak contact . I rasa tak tenang . Kita still couple masatu tapi kita tak contact . I ingat kalau kita break I boleh tenang sikit . Tapi ... Hm . I lagi rindu you . I rasa menyesal sangat . Hm . I nak getback sebab , I tak nak hilang you . I taknak hilang orang yang I sayang . Dalam banyak2 boyfriend I , you yang paling I sayang . Seriously .

(banyak2 boyfriend? Kepala daddy saya lahh -,-)

Him : So you dah fikir masak masak . Garing garing . Ranggup rangup dengan keputusan yang you buat ni ? Hm .

Me : Dah :')

Him : Hm okay . So jawapan dari I pulak . You jak tahu tak ? :'D

Me : Of course I nak tahu . Hm .

Him : Hm sorry . I tak boleh ... Hm

Me : Oh . Hm . Okay . Takpe .

Him : I tak boleh tak terima you :')

Okay sampai sini je :p Ya Allah ! I was like screaming ! Nak menangis siaa aku ! Ya Allah , aku rasa macam happy sangat !

So, it means , WE'RE DATING AGAIN NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alhamdullilah . Praise to Allah , we are happy now . Its been 4 months . We do not have serious arguments for now . Pray for our future dear guys . Pray for our relationship and only Allah can repay you . Thank you so much guys :')

I Heart You So Much Dear Future Husband :'*

Labels: Sha Gelsey